From USA to England - Our Imaginative Super Love relationship Ends.

Just back from an Epic Journey for our 2016 Familylane reunion in Utah USA, I drove back from Singapore direct to the Mid-Valley Kuala Lumpur, to find my Didi in a British theme EWRO FEST event, to take the following pics.

An Artist there drew the following pics :

We had dinner after at the famous old theme Collesium steak house. After dropping her back at the hospital, I retired to bed early but woke up in the middle night. I turned on the computer and somehow it autostarted the latest blue chrome browser which had several tabs previously opened. Suddenly music was playing from one of those tabs with youtube on and the video music is shared below :

The Music Video was by Dami Im that my buddy Alvin Lim in Melbourne is crazy about and have been posting about her on his facebook timeline for the past few weeks! The night before I left Singapore, I was reviewing her videos and somehow after I shut down my computer, the new chrome browser automatically restores all my old tabs in the browser when I turned on my computer in the middle of the night in KL.

Little did I know that I would be writing the end of my imaginative 'Super Love' with Didi too that started 15 months ago. She said that she had learned from me the exercise of Free Agency in living life. She had chosen another man over me who does not have the same beliefs of Life that I hold. On my way home from the USA, maybe I was blessed with some premonition that this what would happen.

There are three reasons why I can 'pen' very quickly in these last paragraphs of this live journal of our relationship that I kept as a writer, as with my other journals of the Body Mind and Spirit of my Life that are sometimes written live as the events occur.

Reason number one is with my goal for Optimal Communication in our relationship, I could sense in my mind that things were not going in an optimal way as she has always been very Quiet while I am the Talkative one. Even in her quietness I had learnt to read her moods and feelings and continue to adjust my life to do my best in managing my time split between my family life, my business life and not forgetting that of my spiritual life, to give her the attention required to attempt to go for the 'Longest Ride'. This term that we had coined from a movie we had watched separately during our courtship.

Second, as 'a multi-sensory human', a description I've adopted from another writer, I received two strong promptings in my sojourn in Utah Valley. One was promptings from my wife not to "marah" her, in Malay meaning scold, but to love her. In our Church temple, I even received scriptural reference about my right to marry another woman found in our scripture D&C 132.  A Church history elaboration of this scripture can be found here. Well, I can easily end a relationship without being angry or want to scold the other party. I maintain a love of all men, realizing everyone is different. I can see Didi's belief's in life differs from mine. Belief is a very strong influencer of behavior and decisions have been made so I accept her withdrawal and move on with my busy life!

Thirdly, I have a great collection of physical books that I have acquired over my lifetime. I felt this one book I bought for myself and an audiobook CD version for my son from the Dessert Bookstore in our Epic Journey to Utah seems to be a great revelation befitting for Mormons or Latter-day Saints to be added to my treasure shelf, not chest, of my home! It somehow helped me understand the divide I may have due to my religion with someone else who loves me but cannot understand or fully accept the Mormon religion whether as a non-member or even a member of our restored Church of Jesus Christ. The book cover is seen below with a link to order it online if anyone is interested :

Can order a copy online here.

For Didi and her younger boyfriend who approached me in facebook too, I wish them well. They are starting a long journey in life where Love can be explored, discovered and recovered, making it a 'complicating' experience as described in some relationship status published on facebook. Yes, I am 'Boynie' the KL City Kid who grew up to be a Dad and today a Grand Dad too looking for another genuine long-term married love relationship after my wife passed away some years back now! I am grateful for the Mormon Church with principles centered on the Savior Jesus Christ that I cannot deny from my amazing life's experiences to know that it is indeed a Church that teaches Truth and is itself a True Church of the Savior and I am one of his imperfect disciples.

I will close with a single long paragraph from the book that will explain why I think it was timely for me to read it almost to completion on the long journey from Utah back to our home in Singapore. This is found on page 161 which reads as follows :

"The two foundational principles of Mormonism are agency and obedience. These principles are in tension with another, creating a kind of paradox for life within the church. But it is precisely at the place where two seemingly disparate values come into contact with one another, that creative tension is born. The friction between obedience to church authority and the personal agency belonging to eternal intelligences creates sparks that give energy and vitality to Mormon theology and life. Terryl Givens has rightly identified this tension between authority and freedom as perhaps the chief paradox of Mormon theology and culture. Only three weeks before his death, Joseph Smith suggested that working in and through paradox was not antithetical to the pursuit of truth but was the very definition of it: 'By proving contraries,' he wrote, 'truth is made manifest'. A half-century earlier, William Blake had similarly observed, 'Without contraries is no progression,' and warned, 'Whoever tries to reconcile [the contraries] seeks to destroy existence.' Father Lehi had taught his sons the same principle, 'that there is opposition in all things,' and that inherent opposition was necessary for God "to bring about his eternal purposes' in exalting his children (2 Nephi 2:11,15). Acting within the zone of paradox and discerning the way forward in a world of contraries can be disconcerting and disorienting, but it is the only path that entails the moral progress necessary to become like God. Balancing our individual freedom with sustaining and following our church leaders gives us opportunities to prove contraries and thereby encounter truth."

End 26 June 2016

Continued Monday 27 June...

Wait a minute, it seems she changed her mind!!!  Well what can I say about the mind of a woman but to share the song that comes to me in my mind :

Great song indeed but an old one. The world is changing very fast and the young don't even believe in happy endings of movies anymore. This was her belief I learned early in our courtship. In my opinion, love, unfortunately, is oversold as a feeling more than a commitment to action or deeds that couples do for one another until the end of their lives. For Mormons, cherished memories of a lifetime with temple sealing ordinances allow couples to look forward to a bond of love that stretches to the eternities, reunited with their families. Eternity may not be meaningful in the hustle bustle world of Man on Earth,  with its modern throwaway culture of urban societies but it only takes a view of the sky on a cloud-free night, seeing the billions of stars in the universe to make one feel there must be life after death or even other beings out there!

Photo via Bala Sivakumar

A woman may change her mind and as equality has come to the sexes today, a man can also change his mind too without worrying about the frailty of the woman. After all the truths I have learned about life in Body Mind & Spirit dimensions, one of the most important I feel is that I am reminded each day is not to waste time. These days I spend less time with people who say things but do not commit themselves to DO IT. Maybe many who lack self-confidence begin to become very quiet! Or they cannot speak clearly and boldly to another in person directly but prefer to quote or share all kinds of quotations, poetry or art on social media! I am a very forgiving person of course but I cannot allow others with their own problems to interfere with my life after giving them the time and opportunity to make an improvement for themselves. For those of who are close and related to me by some genuine relationship, my patience and endurance are, of course, more enduring. For one who is not within my sphere of influence, I just let them be as I have always respected the free agency of another and if they do not affect my life, I really won't be interested in whatever they do to themselves!

I guess I have always been brought up as a true Man, with great objectivity, a logical analytical mindset and impartiality in judgment especially as one who is academically trained and will put everything in boxes with a heading and create an index for quick reference when needed. Otherwise, all the information, memories, thoughts of the mind etc will be kept closed in the box until it is deemed necessary to open up the box again by seeking the index to that box.

By nature of a Man with a heart and physical body, I  know how to love and feel love, have empathy for another who bleeds as I do too when we cut our flesh and respond to love received from another with heartfelt appreciation. Often times I even return greater exceeding love which I know is my nature.

By the power of the Spirit which I am endowed with since I became a disciple of the Savior, I could receive promptings to what is the best and right thing to do at the important moments of time. Once my body mind spirit is in harmony, I move forward happily looking forward to new adventures, trials and challenges that brings a greater appreciation of life, a love of others and continued happiness that comes when we are fully engaged in life as I have done for a long time in my sojourn here on earth!

A long 2-hour video is worthwhile watching again below that I have indexed in my computer files some time ago. It is hilarious and yet so very accurate to explain the challenges of a relationship between a Man and a Woman:

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